And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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