lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
