It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
