We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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