Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
