I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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