just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
