Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
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I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
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I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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