You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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