i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
