I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Randomize
