Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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