I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
