they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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