She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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