WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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