How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
