Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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