dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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