You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I think i got beer on your cat.
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