pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
