Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Randomize
