I'm jealous of your bromance
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
