3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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