you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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