He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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