You work out of a Hotel?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
