just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Also, beer. Big fan.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
