So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize