doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Randomize
