This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I cockslap morals
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
