on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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