I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
