I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
