i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
