You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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