if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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