Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
