how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
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It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
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THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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