so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
