I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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