he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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