Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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