He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
