Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
