so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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