u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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