i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
