Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
