my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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