The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
