i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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