we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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