hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
