BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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