So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
