a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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