If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
