had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
