he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
