oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I understand Curling. That high.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
