I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
