I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
