My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
