Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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