Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
we're making bets on your personal life
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?