I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say