I am puke
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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